Worst Mommy Award

Right now, I feel like I deserve the "Worst Mommy Award". I am typing this as Autumn is sitting in her bed yelling, " Mommy, mommy, momma, wait...momma." She wants to get out of that bed so bad. I just want her to lie down for 10 minutes and take a nap, so that there was some success out of these past 2 hours.
This stinks...that's that the word I wanted to use, I wanted to say what the vaccum cleaner does.

Today was the day I wanted to work really hard on getting her to take a nap. However, I think it all went down hill when she fell asleep in the car for about 20 minutes. But 20 minutes isn't a normal nap. So, we came home. We ate, and then I did the routine her and her papaw do. I sat and rocked her while the t.v. was on to kinda relax her. This didn't work. So, I thought...you know, why not do what I do at bedtime. Bedtime is going pretty good right now. So I gave that a try.

We went into her room. We read a few stories. We sang a couple of song, and said some prayes. Then I told her to go lie down, and I would come cover her up. Well, see that's where the problem is. It's been down hill since then. She's danced around in her bed. She's bounced. She's played with her socks. She's laid still for a few minutes to get up again. She's cried and fussed. There were so many times, I just wanted to get her up out of the bed, but I want to see if she would just go to sleep for just a second or two. That's all I am asking for.

She even went as far as to lay down and make sleep noises. Then yell out to me, "Momma, I do it. I sleep! I sleep!" It was precious, but...

Like I said, I feel horrible and I hate this. I just want her to rest. Because if she doesn't rest now, then she's going to want to at 4:30. I feel like we have wasted so much time, especially today with it being 72 degrees out side. I want her to rest just for a second, then I will praise her and reward her. I will take her outside to play with her bubbles. We can run around in the backyard with Bama. I just want her to sleep for just a couple of minutes. So that we both can feel successful.

This is killing me and I hate it. I hate hearing her call out to me and crying. I hate that she won't take a nap for me but will for her grandfather. I hate that I not only feel like a horrible mother right now, but I also feel like I am a failure. This Vaccums!!!

So after about ten minutes of posting this blog....

Autumn finally gets brave enough to get out of her bed (I am not going to lie...I told her earlier if she got out of her bed she would get a spanking) to come look for me. Now, saying this...I did actually sit in her room for much of the first part of this issue, because at bedtime...I sit in there until she falls asleep. I haven't been able to figure out how to leave before then just yet.

So, I hear her feet as she looks out the door (because after I left her room, I sat outside of her door for a long while, although she couldn't see me) and saw that I wasn't there. She started crying some more. So, I calmly said, "Autumn, come here. Mommy's in here."

She came into the kitchen, and I just took her in my arms and asked her to put her head down and hug me. She did...and within 3 minutes, she was out cold. So, I just laid her down in the bed, hoping that she will sleep for a little bit.

But now I feel guilty and horrible again. Because, all it took was comforting her and holding her for a brief moment. But I did this when we first started out today. I held her, rocked her, etc. and it didn't work then. So, what am I supposed to do?

Nap?!?

I usually post all the sweet lovable things that my precious daughter ( sometimes refered to as monster). However, today I am going to share one of our struggles. So, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to post them or email me. I will take all the help I can get!

So the last two weeks have been a diaster when it comes to Autumn napping at home. She naps fine at her Papaw's house. He's definitely got it down. He sits with her and rocks her and when she's good and asleep he goes and lays her down.

My goal was not to rock her, but since he does it every other day...I figured that I had to as well.
This worked great for most of the school year. However, these past two weeks, she doesn't want to nap at all ( well, at least not at home with me). I started wondering if she was trying to get too big for a nap. Since she thinks she's all grown up now that she's two. But then, by 4:30, she's exhausted and wants to sleep then. But if she sleeps then, she doesn' want to go to sleep at her bed time...which somehow also seems to be getting later and later.

She is definitely running this show right now. It's driving me crazy. I am fustrated with her, and I definitely don't want to be. I seem to waste so much of our afternoon fighting with her to go to sleep that I miss out of the fun times of playing with her. So, today is one of my days at home...so say a quick prayer for me, or send me a tip...and hopefully we will be more successful at this thing called Nap!

(s)NO(w) mommy....

Autumn calls snow...no. She loves it. She is so excited this morning because there's a touch of snow outside. I took her out in it so she could at least touch it. However, I have realized that her favorite part of the snow is to eat it. Sounds Yummy, doesn't it? She thinks it's the funniest thing to taste the snow.
She keeps going to the door and saying, "NO, mommy!" Then she runs around looking for her coat and shoes.
Brandon went in to work a bit late today, so they went and played with the snow this morning. He was all ready for work when they went out, and she thought it was so funny, because she would throw snow on him and get him dirty.
I will have to post some pictures in a bit so that you all can see ae playing in the snow (the massive amount that we have....)

Perfect Moment of the Super Bowl

So, yes the Super Bowl was a great game. Brandon and I were for opposing teams, which made it that much more fun!

But to tell you the truth the most amazing moment of the whole show was Jordan Sparks singing the National Anthem. Don't get me wrong, she was amazing! But that's not what stole my heart. It was my 2 year old cutie sitting in my lap singing oh so softly with her. It was the most amazing sound I think I have ever heard. She just melted my heart.

Again, what a game!!!! However, when I think back to this Super Bowl, it will be the music from Autumn's mouth that I will remember!

Flashback...

Two years ago tonight I went to the hospital to be induced. I can't believe it's already been two years.
So, more so for me than anyone else, I have to relive that.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

I spent the day making sure that I had everything packed. Lissa came over to spend my last non-mommy day with me. It was so good to have her here. She kept my mind busy. We went to Captain D's for my last lunch. I wasn't to eat anything after 12.

When Brandon came home, we casually called our families and talked to them. We just wanted to cover everything. We didn't want them to call later and us not be here and wonder what was going on. So we talked to our sisters and parents like it was any other day.

We left and went to Taco Bell for him to eat. I was so nervous/excited about the unexpected that I wasn't bothered at all that I wasn't allowed to eat.

On our way to the hospital, I remember calling my dad. We were just talking, and something was said about the baby. He said something of the sort that he hoped that I would have it on his birthday (Feb. 8th). So, I jokingly said, "so if I go to have it before then, you don't want to know?" He said, "No, No, I am not saying that at all." That's when I just laughed. He had no clue!

We get there, we get all set up. The nurse says that I am already having some contractions and 2 centimeters. She said that I may not need to be put on the medicine after all. So, we didn't know what to think about all this. So we decided it was time to call the families just in case we went into labor.

I remember us calling our families and them being so nervous and shocked that we were already at the hospital. They were all making arrangements to be there first thing in the morning.

My poor sister was at school at WKU. I called her and she was so excited. She couldn't wait to be an aunt. She was going to come down first thing in the morning; however, she couldn't relax up in Kentucky. She felt like she needed so badly to be at home with her family. I am so thankful that she came on down that night. She was so cute, just how excited she was.

This leads into February 2nd. It was so good to have my family there. It helped a lot to just know everyone was there. I am very thankful for Kristi, Lissa, and Angeline being there. What a day!!!

I remember several times just looking at Brandon and just thanking God that He brought this man into my life, and now we were about to have a baby. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband. He is such a wonderful daddy.

God blessed us at 5:57 (via c-section) with a beautiful baby girl. She took my breath away! It's funny how instantly I went from knowing that I was Danielle to knowing that I was now Mommy!!!

I am so thankful for this beautiful gift that God has given us.
She makes my heart whole.

Thanks for letting me share...Love, Danielle

Not just for Bama

So, I just caught my daughter sneaking behind the blinds of our back door. I caught her when I heard a faint "yum...yum". There she was with a dog biscuit in her hand and the proof all over her mouth.

I acted grossed out, and she simply gave her usual sneaky evil laugh and said, "Yummy...yummy...more?"

What am I going to do with her?

For me...

So, I am not big on setting new year's resoluntions...simply because I don't keep them. There are tons of things that I need to improve on or would like to do better...but that's besides the point.

So, I have set myself three goals. These are not because of a "new year" but instead, because it just hit me last Saturday night, while I was reading What Every Mom Needs.

I am not one who usually does for myself, but these three things are just for me.

1. Spend more time in the Word. I want to know Him better. I want to enhance my intimate relationship with my Father.

2. Work on being me...the fun me and not just the MOMMY and WIFE me. I want to be the silly me that acts goofy and doesn't make sense. I want to be the carefree me that doesn't walk on eggshells or worry about what someone else things of me. I want to be Danielle!!!

3. Make decisions and stand on them. I always let others make decisions for me. I joke that I am Julia Roberts in Run Away Bride. Ask me how I like my eggs, and it usually the way someone else likes them...or I have to ask someone what I like rather than decide for myself. So, my goal is to start figuring out what it is that I like...figure out who I am!!!
This is going to be a tough one for me but I look forward to learning more about myself.

So, I thought I only had 3, but I remembered another one that is very important to me...that may kinda go with the last two.

4. STOP second guessing myself when it comes to my decisions about my daughter. I want to do what I believe is best for her, and not worry about what others say. I don't want to worry about that someone else does it this way, or that I might should loosen up a bit.
I am her mother, and I am going to do what I think is in her best interest...
I tend to second guess myself...expectally when a family member, friend, or even husband makes a comment. So, my big goal is to stand firm on what I believe and want for her. Not to worry about what someone else might think!!!

Okay, I feel that now that I have written these out for anyone to see...I have to work on accomplishing these goals. This will definitely be a test for me, but if I do it...I think I will not only be more confident, but also a better me.